trying to keep a marriage alive save a marriage in the face of adversity

When Marriages Crumble Under the Ongoing Strain of PTSD

I’ve been married for eleven years, and not one of those years has been an easy one. Even before PTSD became a part of our lives, marriage was hard work. But it was always worth the effort. In the early years I would often wonder about other marriages. Did they have the same fights as […]

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trying to predict when husband will have an episode of PTSD breakdown

Desperately Trying to Forecast the Wild Storms of PTSD

Sometimes you can feel the change in the air while the sun still shines. You see the colours shift in the sky, the clouds getting darker, growing heavier. Sometimes you hear the distant low rumbles long before the storm hits. And then, when you see the first flash of lightning, you know that the storm […]

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how to cope manage a relationship marriage when your partner has a mental illness PTSD

Where Does the Mental Illness End and the Marriage Begin?

Don’t listen to the songs. Don’t hold on to the stories. Don’t watch the movies, and don’t believe the fairytales. Because in the real world, nobody gets a happily ever after. The real world is full of real people, and real people are never perfect. Marriage is never perfect. Yet so many of us continue to idolise a happily […]

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hoping for a better outcome recovery of PTSD mental illness depression

This Wife is Still Waiting in the Wings Behind His PTSD

How long can you hold your breath? I’ve been holding mine for ten days now, and counting. It’s gripping my stomach, it’s gripping my mind. But I can’t let it out. Not just yet. I’ve had many confronting conversations with my husband over the years since PTSD joined our fold. And the fact that we’re usually […]

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trying to mend the damage hurt cause by PTSD mental illness

Trying to Heal the Damage that PTSD Causes

A pack of cards. So simple, so unassuming. Build a house of cards, and the merest breath can bring it tumbling down. You’d be right in thinking they hold little power. Yet played the right way, a deck of cards can build a bridge that may help lift a marriage. 8:00pm. Kids all asleep. Kitchen cleaned […]

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how PTSD and mental illness can damage a relationship marriage

Accepting How PTSD Can Cripple a Relationship

I used to be a very private person. I used to hide it all away. I didn’t know what else to do when things weren’t quite right, when things weren’t working. I truly believed that keeping it all inside was a sign of strength. I was strong. I could keep it quiet and not let […]

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recovering from PTSD mental illness has to come from you the inside

Recovering from PTSD Can Only Begin with One Person

I’ve heard it time and time again. Though, admittedly, it has always seemed quite abstract to me. But now it’s becoming a very real and very bitter pill to swallow. I can no longer avoid the truth. No matter how much I wish, no matter how much I persuade, no matter how much I present my […]

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remembering the good times

I Still Need to Hear That Voice

Every time I call my husband and he doesn’t pick up, I’m taken back to a good place. A better time. Because when he doesn’t pick up, his voice mail does. Just a simple, to-the-point greeting, recorded many years ago. Many tears ago.

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pretending to be normal pretending to be happy

We Are Trying So Hard to Be Just as Normal as You

Sometimes, PTSD rains down on us. Just like a storm hits, unforeseen. We have no choice. We weather it. But the rain passes, eventually, and the ground begins to dry. Or does it? The next day, we desperately wait for the sun to come out so we don’t have to think about the storm that crossed […]

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the real honest facts about PTSD in a family home

The Real Truth About What PTSD Can Look Like in Our Home

It was 22:34 when I arrived home from my evening at book club. My one routine night out, for a welcome few hours of diversion, laughter and friends. It was 22:36 when I realised the house was silent and still. Empty, but for the slumbering children. No sign of the husband I had farewelled earlier in the evening. It […]

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how triggers can cause a relapse of PTSD

The Day His PTSD Once Again Broke Free

A letter arrived last week. Official ambulance correspondence. Addressed to my husband, but in my role of anticipating triggers, this was mine to open. From that crisp envelope, I pulled out a commendation letter for my husband. Commendation letters are those sent to unknown paramedics from grateful patients or their family. Heartfelt words expressing their deepest gratitude to the paramedics who […]

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standing up to the demon of PTSD

Dear PTSD, This is My Promise to You

Dear PTSD, You have controlled my husband for five years now, and I’m writing to tell you that it’s time to let him go. We need him back. Unshackle him. He is no longer your prisoner. Day after day, year after year, you have mercilessly put him through every test possible. You have relentlessly forced him to jump […]

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using laughter happiness as the best medicine in mental health illness

Why Laughter Should be the First Medicine

You would assume, and rightly too, that, as a pharmacist, I am well positioned to understand the various medications and treatments that can assist with managing PTSD. And as wife to a man with complex PTSD, you can appreciate that it can be hard at times to keep from exchanging my wife hat for my […]

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reasons to stay in a difficult marriage with mental illness PTSD

The Three Reasons Why I Choose to Stay Alongside PTSD

There are three reasons why I stay. And by stay, I mean in this family, in this marriage. Because, let’s face it, even though we know the grass is never greener on the other side, when your grass starts growing serious prickles then maybe any colour grass might be better. So, to be completely honest, […]

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the aftermath of PTSD nightmares

You Never Wake from the Nightmare when PTSD Haunts You

It happened again last night. Sometime before 5am, in the serene lull of predawn, I was woken by yet another nightmare. Next to me, the bed felt empty, but this time he was still there. Sitting on the edge of the bed, engrossed in the glaringly bright screen of his phone, desperately trying to force the horrendous […]

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